Some days i sit, staring out the window
Watchin` this world pass me by
Sometimes I think theres nothing to live for
I almost break down and cry .


Somtimes it feels like the world`s on my shoulders
Everyone`s leaning on me
Cause sometimes it feels like the world`s almost over
But then they come back to me .


So for the time being my blog will be pictureless. Lappy is giving me some shits & I'm gonna get it repair by not telling Papa & Mummy. SSSSHHHH. If not, mati-mati. Hahaha. Mama been such a sweetheart. Asking me whats wrong with it & ask me to repair or reformated it back. And, as usual being the lazy pig in the family, I don't listen to them, wait till Sister do it for me or can I said Bf. Hahaha. But still, I miss my lappy cause theres picture of Bf & me. And, whenever I miss him, I'm gonna browse his pictures but now, NO! Hope it will get well soon. I can't lived without lappy. Using the desktop is not great. Cause its too big & uncomfortable. OMG, I been so petty. But never mind & so what. Hahaha. Get well soon, Okay, sweetheart Acer. Hahaha.

Move on. Family just went off to Zoo earlier on. Since yesterday was Effa & Mama belated birthday & theres was only a mini celebration for us, Sister decided to have a family outing. But sadly, I never join the fun because of the disagreement between Sister & me & outing with the happy pills later in the afternoon. Yanyan gonna go shopping. So Bf & I just tag along. I already had plan coming up later. IT Fair at Expo, Suntec City for the John Little Sale (I guess) & off to town to look for my Vans shoes. I can't wait but I don't know what to wear. Seriously, my clothes is already out-dated. Shit. Hahaha.

I just realised its only 1034am & I'm blogging already. Never mind about that. Since lappy is down on high fever. Hahahaha. Okay till then bloggers. Happy Weekend!!!

PS: I LOVE YOU SO MUCH BENG!

Will be meeting Bf at 4pm later. And now, I'm blogging yet again. You see, I have so many things to said but a little time. I just want to vent my anger & shout. Just now, while doing the laundry, I get angry because the bamboo was heavy. And, Mama shouted at me. Hahahaha. Not in scolding me but making fun of me. After that, I clean the house & everything since its Effa birthday today. While cleaning the house, Mama & I were singing to all the old classic song. Hahaha. Sound weird, I guess, but yes, I sing along too. Hahaha. Oh well. Better get ready. If I'm late, Bf will sulk. Hahaha. I don't seem to be looking forward for today. The birthday & everything eventhough we will be celebrating Mama belated birthday too. But yeah, theres no excitement at all. So, at night, only a mini clebration for us. Till then.

I'am so pissed off right now. Check time, its only 1125am. Imagined that. Mama is out to the market. Left me, grannys & the kids. Aunt & cousin came over for breakfast. But since they are both here, grannys making me so pissed off. They woke me up, asking me to make drinks for them. Asking me to open up a conversation & stuff. OMG. Seriously. I'm not been petty or whatsoever but I seriously hate it when people demand me to do something. Geeez. Hate it. And, earlier in the morning, Sis already make me angry. She shout at me & demand me to clean the house since today its Effa 5th birthday. Like HELLO, c'mon, I know my jobs & don't come asking me to this & that. Its so sickening. Mama had never done like this to me before. And, right now, Grannys nagging at something which I don't know whats is all about. See. Sickening.

Move on.

And, hell yes, I'm using the desktop now. My lappy is giving me trouble. Urgggghhhh. Another things pissed me off. Shithead. I don't know what wrong with my lappy, that the screen is blank whenever I on it. Urggghhh. Its so frustrated. Since yesterday night & now today. Like seriously, feels like jumping off the building. And, Bf. Hes busy. He didn't reply my messages or even pick my call. Great. Everything is great. Urggghhh.

I wanna go shopping. I wanna buy a Vans shoe. I wanna go out. I wanna go on a holiday. I wanna go to California. I wanna visit Sister & her family. I wanna eat. I wanna have Auntie Anne. I wanna have everything in this world (minus the pig, of course) I wanna eat candysssssssss. I wanna shout at people. I wanna sleep. I wanna have some caramel frapp (oh wait, I just have 1 yesterday) I wanna hug Bf. :(

And, perhaps its time for me to change to a new lappy. And, yes, I want this. Never mind about the fact that Dol found a laptop at his campus & its happen to be IMAC toooo. That bloody sucker & never mind about the fact again that Hardy found an Acer laptop toooo. Okay, again, a sucker. Hahaha. Urgggghhh. Shithead. I WANT THIS!!!!!!!!!!! Okay, Papa, go & get it for me. Hahahaha.

Pictures from Sentosa.
Feel free to browse cause I'm so lazy to post anything for that day.
So yeah.



*******

Will be meeting Bf later in the evening with Ezza.

Just a random of what I did over the weekends.

Saturday, 22th Nov.

As plan, meetup with the happy pills for the marathon meeting at RP. And, guess what, the boys were actually punctual this time round. Meeting time was actually 730am, since the meeting starts at 900am. And, I was the one whos late. Haha. Well, not that late actually. Serve them right. Meetup with them at Library & off board 168 to Woodlands. We are late actually for the meeting but theres Yan's Uncle who allow us to went it. Went to the Lecture Hall. Is it?? I ain't no poly student so I just said it. Hahaha. And, we only seated for about 10 minutes & the meeting is finished. So much for al the efforts from Tampines to RP & the meeting ended just like that. So much. So much. Hahaha. And since its only afternoon, the boys decided to chill for awhile. Chill at Causeway Point & accompany Yan for awhile. After that, off to City Hall since we don't know where to head to. Walk around Marina Square, back to Esplanade. Chill at the usual place. Back again to Marina Square. I swear I was to tired for all the walking but I keep on going. In the evening, Hardy decided to go back to Tampines since theres alot of Matrep. Off back & just chill at stage for the rest of the night. Since the boys are hyper & high, they did all those kind of silly jokes & silly talks. Hahaha. Especially Dol, he make me scare actually. Hahahaha. At 9, I bid them goodbye & off home. Home ain't making me any happy. I fight with Sister again for the 3rd time. As, it was Mama birthday, & since Mama had planned with Aunts & Uncles, we couldn't celebrate with her. So, we will celebrate with Effa's birthday this coming Friday. I heard they are going to the Zoo. Effa wants to see the White Tiger. LOLs.

Sunday, 23th Nov.

Its my 47th anniversary & I hurt Bf feeling. See, I ain't no good girl. I already promised Mama to accompany her to Cousin's wedding & Bf wanted to meet me. I have to decide that I end up accompany Mama & Bf sulk. But we managed to cool off. And, I meet that sulking boys at his house to have our night supper. Late night hugggggs & kissssses. It was all worth it. At 10, Bf sent me home. And, again, I fight with Sister.

Today.

Oh well, am meeting Bf later.

Finally, a time of our own today.
Hugggggggg & kissssssses.
Whats more?

HAPPY 3 YEARS 10 MONTHS ANNIVERSARY, LOVE.
I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEARTS.

Yesterday, when the clock struck 12, I gather all my little nieces & nephew to sang a birthday song for my dear Mama or should I said for their Nenek. Hehehehe. It is so hard, as all the rugrats would run away. But, at least Mama is so happy.

22 November 2008, the lady in my life turn 57th today.
The lady who I sleep together for the 17 years of my life.
The lady who always sulk when she never get much attention from me.
The lady who never beat, scold or get angry with me.
The lady who always believe in me & all my siblings.
The lady who been through the parcels of life
The lady who will always be my sweetheart.
The lady who I can't lived without.

The lady is my Mother.
And, a mother to Nur Azimah.
Happy birthday Mama.
I love you so much & with all my heart.
And, I can't lived without you.

PS: I will post soon about today. Long day ahead.

I need space.

Thats all.

I had a BIG fight with Sis today.
And, its feel so sux with the fact that I only think of MAMA.
Yes, for the sake of 1 lady in my life.
And, the lady is so damn important in my life.
If not, I would have stay with Papa.

PS: And, yes I know, we never share the same DAD!!!!

There goes one more coma,
due to blunt force trauma,
just give me one more soma,
and i'll be done for it mama.

Countdown to Mama's birthday. Its Saturday. I wonder what Sis & Bro has install for Mama. Dinner with all the siblings & after that, Starbucks & caramel frapp. Story telling, camwhore. Hugging & kissing. Sing Mama her birthday song & wonder what will install for us for the next coming days. I hope everything went smoothly. I hope & finger-cross.

I have yet to take the pictures from Bf's camera cause his Sister is using it. Soon alright. And, I already occupy my day by reading some novel. At least, no more boredom. And, evening with Bf & the happy pills just make my day. And, home is no more fun like what its used to be. Sis been such a pain in the ass. And, its already a months, I or we never had a long conversation nor even smile to each other. Great, just great. And, the night before, received a call from Big Sis stating that our Big Bro is back. Oh God, more problem came & poor Mama. Lets just hope everything went alright on Mama birthday. Hope. Gonna get ready, am off to library. Library? Seeing Sis there just make my day dull. Whatever. And, Oh, meeting Bf & happy pills again. Thank God, I have them. Cheers everyone.

HAPPY SWEET SEVENTEEN DEAR EERA.
MAY GOD BLESS YOU ALWAYS, INSYAALLAH.


Tags replied:
17 Nov 08, 19:12
ain: babe my face w yan sungguh burok ! tidakk .
Zi: LOLs. Its Okay, everyone is high, thats why. Haha. My picture with Beng more buruk, OKAY!! Hahaha.

17 Nov 08, 20:56
HARFANY IS LOVE♥: hey babe. you left me sucha beautiful sms, thank you love.
Zi: Oh yeah, Your welcome dearie.

17 Nov 08, 23:39
Lucy: Zi... i miss you so much.. online soonn ok.. anything nudge me! i love you so much. *hugs
Zi: Hey dear, yeah, I miss you too. Sorry, I have not been online that often. I'm too busy & prefer to said, Lazy. Sorry dear. I will online soon & we can chat through the night. And about yesterday, sorry, I already offline. Meetup soon.

17 Nov 08, 23:52
Eera Darlynke: Kan dh saket kaaaaan! Haha Muka buruk ehhh Zi bila sakit. Haha.
Zi: LOLs. SHUT UP!! Haha. I know, I'am sooooo buruk. Hahahahaha.

Pictures is up.
I grab it from Ain's multiply. And, theres more in Bf's camera.
I have yet to take them from him. Soon.
Meanwhile, gonna get ready. Meeting Bf.

All I know is that I got myself drunk yesterday at Sentosa.
Vomited a few times & my head feels so 'ringan'.
After that, Bf got himself drunk.
Yet, thanks to the kakis gerek for helping us.
LOLs.

I'm in the mood of showing Bf some love but I just don't know how to show it to him. Pardon me, I ain't no romantic girl. Hahaha. Especially, with the song of 'If I were a boy by Beyonce. The song is so sweet. Its remind me of Bf. I miss him. Yes, I do. Eventhough I just met him but yes, I miss him already. Oh boy. Hahaha. I can't wait for tomorrow. SENTOSA, VODKA & ICEssss. LOLs. Baby, tomorrow!! I think I got to go, I need to pack my bag. See ya. (:

I bet I'm not gonna go out today since its gonna rain. Poor baby. I already promise to meet him today but I guess I had to cancel it. But somehow, I hope its not gonna be rain heavily. Finger-cross. I'm fine today just having this stupid, irritating cough & my throat is itchy. I hate it when I have sore throat. Argggggh. Better get well before Saturday, am not gonna go out with this stupid sore throat where I have to cough each minutes. Arggggghhh. Drop the topics. Coutdown to Mama birthday. I really can't wait. Am lost of words actually. I will update later tonight if I'm free. Please don't rain. I wanna meet my babylove. Please.

-edited-

So, as said, I'm not meeting Bf due to the weather. Had dinner just now with Mama. And now, on my lappy. I'm bored. Bored to death. Throat is killing me. FUCK. Okay, off now. I seriously don't know what to post. Meanwhile, I have create a new LJs account for my private post. I will keep updated. Good night kiddos.

I'am still sicks. Down with fever, flu & bad sore-throat. More great, LITTLE MISS PMS came & mensens cramp killing me. Same old situation like before. Finger-cross, hope I get well before this Saturday. Sentosa with the happy pills since its Yan birthday. I need Bf now. Its 2 days, I never meet him. I really need him now. Messages & call won't do anything. I need his hugs & everything. :(

PS: I'm dead in Friendster. Don't bother adding me up. Thanks.

Like seriously, chalet was the worse. Seriously for me. 1st- I fall sick on the first day & 2nd- I don't want to mention anything. I'm back already at home, was supposed to overnight till tomorrow, Sunday but Bf canno't make it since theres some family matter. Should not elobrate any further. All I said, 1 hell stupid fun. Okay, I'm off now. I need some hot tea. I really do need 1. My throat are like hell. My red nose are like what. I need to catch some sleep. I really need it. And, not to mention, I need Bf hugs toooooo. :(

Will be away.

Chalet tonight with the happy pills.

Take care kiddos.

I wonder who Sis vote for the America's President Election. Will it be Barack Obama or John McCain? Okay, I don't know if she has to vote since shes migrate there. But I'm pretty sure my brother-in-law, Shane will have to vote. Haha. I have not received any letter or emails from them yet but I miss them very much. And, I already got their pictures but I just don't know how to upload it through my lappy. I think I need a scanner. Since I get all the pictures from Papa. Hahaha. I suck in IT. LOLs. Pardon me. Oh, I'm so free that I changed my blogskins again. I'm just free. And, I just can't be bother with the kids. I had enough already. Oh well. Am meeting Bf later in the evening & maybe after that meet Papa cause I need to shop for tomorrow. CHALETSSSS. Oh, I can't wait but still I feel scare about it. The place must be scary. But oh well, am looking forward. Hahaha. LOLs. Okay, off now kiddos. Will update later at night if I'm free.

PS: Did you see that I have changed lately? I don't sulk for no reason. I don't get angry for no reason. I don't scold you for no reason. Did you just saw that? I hope you did, boy.

As plan again like before to accompany Yanyan to town since he wanted to buy some stuffs. Meetup with the boys at Interchange & as ususal they the 1 whos late & Bf didn't even said sorry. Train down to Marina Square, walked around before having dinner at Macdonald. After that chill at the stairs before making our way to Esplanade. Chill there & took lots of pictures. 930 make our way home. Thats all kiddo. I wanna meet Papa again tomorrow, I wanna go shopping with him. Lets hope hes agreed. *Finger-cross. Okay, night kiddo. Pictures later when I received them from Bf & Yanyan.

PS: I know we been having so not like our usual type. I just don't know why. I need time. Time around you. I'm happy for spending my time with you but I just don't know why. We need time, baby. Trust me, it will all go back like normal. We just need a little time. Be patience okay. Good luck for tomorrow baby. I love you & I miss you so much. Missing your every hugs & missing everything about you.

Oh yes, I'm crazy over them. Not both but Lewis Hamilton. Called me insane kiddo but yes. I' am. And, right now, I'm watching the Formula 1 at ESPN. Its the world championship now & I'm keeping my finger cross. Please let Lewis Hamilton won this & not F. Massa. Please cause I'm not a very big fan of Massa. *middle finger. LOLs. And yes, theres Nicole Scherzinger standing beside Lewis Mom just now. LOLs. Okay, I'm getting insane like hell. Seriously over Lewis. *melts. Hahaha. Okay, I better play online game fear I might fall asleep since theres 71 laps ALTOGETHER. And, its only 65/71 laps. Theres sure a big more laps to go. Praying hard, Lewis won this championship. Like 100000times repeat, PLEASE. LOLs.